Since one's first venture onto the playground, one will encounter many types of friends--the Fun Friend, the Casual Friend, the Best Friend, and of course, the Toxic Friend. A Toxic Friend is a "friend" who is (a) not really your friend, and (b) bad for you. I have encountered several types of toxic friends and just realized last night that one of my "girlfriends" is indeed toxic. The types are as follows:
1) The Cutter - She cuts you down in a subtle yet not very subtle manner. She makes back-handed compliments. e.g. "Wow that dress is so big and flowy. It really accentuates your shape." Or, when something crappy happens to you, instead of encouraging you or cheering you up, she says "Wow, sucks to be you! I'm so glad that didn't happen to me. I feel so sorry for you!"
2) The Competitor - She is very competitive with you, almost bordering on jealous. She can't stand to see you happy. When something really great happens to you--a new guy, a promotion, losing five pounds--she sulks, pouts, and changes the subject to something she has accomplished.
3) The Big Baby - She is very self-absorbed. She talks about herself 24-7 and asks you about her problems, her concerns, her issues. She never once asks you how your day went, and when you try to tell her about your day, she interrupts you to tell you how what you said reminds her of Issue #349.
4) The Car Accident Waiting to Happen - She is unscrupulous and unsettlingly impulsive. She's the girl who in ninth grade convinces you to sneak out at midnight so you guys can drive with a couple twenty-five year-olds to go to a sketchy club in the city. What makes her friendship so enticing is her lack of inhibition. But you know ten years down the line she could very well end up as a crack whore.
5) The Downer (a.k.a. The Hater, The Complainer) - This friend can always find something new to bitch about. Her co-workers. Her mom. Her boyfriend. Her hangnail. Everything and anything is a source of angst, pain, and suffering. She continuously exudes and defecates negativity.
-------
Okay that's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there are more. Anyways, my "girlfriend" (actually a guy who I consider to be a girlfriend) is the Big Baby. Last night he moaned for about two hours about girls, about how he's moving, about his new job, etc. I dutifully encouraged him, gave him pep talks, and advised him. After two hours, I finally asked him for his advice on #s 3 & 4. I don't know if he's jealous that I finally have concrete romantic prospects while he doesn't, but he was like, "Yeah, #4 is out. And #3 is either repulsed by you or just wants to use you for sex." Then he changes the subject back to him.
Toxic Friend, anyone?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I have an overly toxic "Competitive" friend! you are right! She is consistently monitoring everything I do and if it is good and it happens to me she does not want to talk about it! She has done everythibg bigger and better than everyone she has ever known! How do i get rid of this friend? What can i do? We live in a small town and I don;t like hurting anyone's feelings, I guess that does not help this situation!
I was directed here by a reader on my own site, as we happen to have similar topics. Isn't #5 a derivative of #3? haha. I have a friend like #3 and it drives me up the wall. I think it is because they are also perpetually lonely, but at the same time, they are bringing it upon themselves.
Chin up, Yellow Gal, good friends do come along. I have a few myself.
Post a Comment