Thursday, October 09, 2008

A little vent

I'm annoyed. Really, one of the most annoying things about life is when someone makes an offhand, unfair remark at you -- whether it be a flat-out insult or criticism -- and you have no comeback and you stand there like an idiot. Then, hours later, the logical, obvious comeback response comes to you. And you get mad because (1) that person got away with the remark, and (2) you had the perfect response.

Classic example:

Boss says to me: "You're a moron. All I did was ask you to add 1 + 1. Why is that so hard?

Classic Yellow Gal response: "Duh..."

What Yellow Gal should have said: "You didn't ask me to add 1 + 1. You asked me to multiply 935,049 by 934,435, square it, find the derivative of it, perform a logarithmic analysis, and make the final figure do a triple-axel ending with an inverted toe-touch."

Another "example":

Boss says: "You're a moron. It's taking you 10 days to finish this project. It took So-and-so 2 days."

Yellow Gal response: "Duh..."

What Yellow Gal should have said: "So-and-so analyzed a simple issue pertaining to one page of evidence. I have had to analyze 50,000 pages of evidence and analyze fifteen different issues. It's going to take a little bit longer than 2 days. Ass."

But no, I just stood there, thinking, "Duh..." and having that "Duh..." look on my face, and allowing my boss to think that I am a moron.

I know, I know -- If everyone got riled up over every unfair characterization in the history of mankind, then we'd never leave the house and still be banging rocks to make fire. I get it.

Still though. It's annoying.
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