Tough love

This will be the last time I obsess about online guy #3. My friends had assured me, actually issued a verbal guarantee (which is legally binding in some states) that #3 liked me and would call me back after I called him. They rebutted every neurotic argument I concocted as to why #3 would not call. They insisted there was absolutely no way in heaven, hell or purgatory that #3 would not call. No. F-ing. Way.

Well, #3 never called. At least I can safely say this now since it's been two weeks since I last saw him and about one week since I left my short yet friendly voicemail message.

And now, not only is my ego ever so slightly bruised, but my friends have completely lost credibility. Now whenever they say "No you don't look fat in that" or "Of course you were right," I'll wonder whether they are telling me the truth or lying/patronizing me.

Perhaps it is part of the friend's job to lie to you. They say "His loss," when in reality, it is actually your loss. And what good friend would ever point out the cellulite dimples in your thigh while you try on a swimsuit? Would they ever admit that his new girlfriend who occasionally models for Vogue and Cosmopolitan is indeed prettier than you? Of course not. So perhaps I shouldn't be too disgruntled with the fact that my friends tried so hard to mask the reality that #3 didn't like me and consequently wouldn't call me. It's because they cared.

However, I do think there are times when friends need to give tough love. I would have preferred that this incident with #3 be that time. While it is sweet in the short-term to enable a girl's hopes and wishes, it is dangerous in the long-run because she will eventually find out the truth--that a guy doesn't like her, that she has cellulite, that the model is prettier--and that reality check, coming from a nonfriendly source, hurts even more.