I've reached that point in my courtship with Younger Guy where I'm starting to get anxious. (What a surprise, I'm getting neurotic.) Even though I jokingly complain about not getting any, I suspect that I can't really *be* with a guy unless I feel like it's real. And the idea of the real thing is scarier than harmless making out.
So Guy wants to spend more time with me, and he "observed" the other day that he was always calling me, not I him. I suppose I am being the hesitant one in this thing. Perhaps a part of me is afraid to get seriously involved with someone if it's not going to work. Every time one of my last serious relationships failed, it kind of chipped away at my romantic optimism; and I don't want to be jaded even more by another failed relationship.
I always tell everyone, "You never know unless you try." So I should try, right? Why the heck am I scared? I'm not afraid of commitment. I want a relationship. I guess what frightens me is the thought of being hurt in the end, and losing just a little bit more of my hopefulness.
But maybe nothing great is ever accomplished until someone closes her eyes, makes a leap of faith, and just hopes for the best.
1 comment:
don't change your expectations to match your experience. know what you want and don't settle for anything less. =D
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