Am being obsessive and lazy. Sounds like a paradox, doesn't it? How about another one: the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more you end up thinking about it (or him). So you might as well relent to the mind and think about it, right? You'd think that revisiting the same subject over and over again in your mind would grow tiresome. Yet there are a variety of factors to manipulate, like the conversations had (or not had), colors of shirts worn, events that may have happened or have yet to happen. The mind can be so monotonous and at the same time absurdly inventive.
Enough with the paradoxes. A little off-switch would be nice.
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