Yes, master

A couple days ago, my brother and I were watching a movie in the TV room. In the middle of the movie, my mom called out to us from the living room to eat some oranges. We ignored her and continued watching our movie downstairs. Ten minutes later, our movie dialogue was pierced with an even louder interruption. My brother and I looked at each other and decided to relent to her by going upstairs to eat the oranges. I plopped the pieces into my mouth and drank a sip of water. My mom then urged me to drink more water. I said, "No thanks" and started walking away when she again insisted that I drink more water because it was better for my stomach.

I was now slightly irritated to have my movie interrupted, to be nagged to eat oranges when I didn't feel like it and now to be nagged to drink water when I didn't want to. I turned around, lowered to my knees, took the cup of water with both hands, bowed my head to my mother and said "Mother, if drinking water is what pleases you, it is what I shall do. For whatever pleases you pleases me. My sole aim is to appease you and should I ever achieve this sole aim, then I shall be ever so happy." I then added another deferential bow, brought the plastic cup to my lips, drank the water, and placed the cup before her with both hands. "I hope to achieve whatever it is you ask of me, Mother."

She nodded approvingly and said in her native tongue, "Yes, good." I couldn't tell if she knew I was being facetious but she continued, "That is how you should treat a man. If you treat a man very well, then he shall return in kind."

At that point, I threw my head back and busted out laughing (in a very unfeminine, unbecoming manner, I must add). I then looked at her to see if she was amused.

She wasn't smiling.

Which led me to think.

I think I am "too much" for some guys, and so the few guys who can handle me aren't the kind of guys who are expecting (or even wanting) a simpering, submissive little girl to serve him. And so it becomes very amusing when I mock my own stereotype. For example, once, my boyfriend at the time asked me for a glass of water. I looked down, softened my voice, and said "Yes, master" as I retrieved the glass of water. He got so embarrassed and laughed. It was probably all the more amusing because it is the exact opposite of what I am. Yet strangely, while he was very surprised, I suspect he was somewhat pleased by it. And it shouldn't be surprising. What guy wouldn't want something literally handed to him on a platter and treated like he were the most revered creature in the world?

Perhaps the women of the Orient were onto something...