I want my toothpaste

I know there are terrorists out there.

I know there are terrorists who hate the U.S. and want to do everything they can to destroy the U.S.

I know they have made successful and unsuccessful attempts to kill Americans out of pure hatred.

But damn, I can't believe I'm not allowed to bring my toothpaste in my carry-on luggage on my flight today. I know this is the same thing a terrorist would say: "No really, it's not a liquid explosive, it really is Colgate's Total toothpaste!" But I will literally open the tube for them, put it on my toothbrush and brush my teeth. I mean, would a terrorist do that with a liquid explosive?

Thankfully, the Department of Homeland Security makes exceptions for babies and diabetics so that the babies won't starve on the plane without their milk and the diabetics won't lapse into comas. But what if there are terrorist babies and diabetics? It is possible that a terrorist would put milk in one bottle and a light colored liquid explosive in another. Then the terrorist would carry the bottles with the baby, smiling all the while. It's also possible that a diabetic brings insulin in one container and a liquid explosive in another. I mean, if we're extrapolating that a container of Lancome Juice Tubes lip gloss is a liquid explosive, than why not the milk or insulin?

Okay, wryness aside, I acknowledge that terrorism is very real. I personally know people who've lost people in 9/11. It's just a shame that we've been reduced to living in perpetual fear--fear of taking flights, fear of bringing on containers of liquids or suspiciously clunky shoes, fear of being attacked.

Ah, the inconveniences of living in a country that is hated.