I asked for it

Perhaps more dangerous than asking a potentially blunt guy "Do you think I'm fat?" is asking someone who cards you "How old do I look?"

Went to a ball game last night. I got carded by the guy behind the stand. I asked him that oh-so-dangerous question, "How old do I look?" He turned around and asked an older woman behind him how old did she think I was.

"Hmm...31?" she said.

The guy studied my license for another five minutes, clearly unable to subtract 1977 from 2006. I did the math for him. "I'm 28."

"Oh woops, was I wrong?" the elderly hag asked. "I'm sorry... it's... just... that you act very mature for your age! Yeah..."

I mustered a half-patronizing smile and got my drink. Needless to say, I did not tip the guy. Not his fault, I know.

Now, for all you 31-and-over-year-olds - this is no offense to you. 31 is not 81. But imagine yourself as a 28 year old and being told you look 31.

Add to that, you're ASIAN and Asians are supposed to look young for their age. So she probably thought I was actually 45 and was being safe by guessing 31. Anyways, I went back to my seat and my friends made pathetic attempts to assauge my ego by concocting the wildest stories as to why she had no credibility and and how I don't look 31, reasons ranging from "She's probably drunk" to "She's a crazy old lady!"

Ah, friends. I wonder, where would we be without the sweet delusions of our friends?