Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Kicking the habit

I have a perfectly disgusting habit. It isn't the only bad habit I have, but it's one that, from time to time, revolts me.

I bite my nails.

I know it isn't as bad as heroin or porn, but it's pretty nasty. I don't know what compelled me to start biting my nails that one day in 1985 in elementary school, but I've been biting my nails for about 20 years and it doesn't look like I'll be quitting anytime soon.

I have my mother's hands and I look at the way her slender ivory fingers taper off to her perfectly formed nails. I know, I just know that if I let my nails grow, I would have graceful fingers like hers. Instead, I see slender fingers taper off to ugly, mangled nails.

It's so easy to just yell at someone, "Just stop!" So logical: Just stop biting your nails. But there is this inexplicable, irresistible urge to bite them off once they grow. It makes no sense. It's bad for my teeth, and it even hurts my fingers when I bite my nails.

But nail polish, vinegar, disgusting tasting potions, scotch tape, chewing gum and the like all have failed in getting me to kick my habit. Whenever I meet former nail biters, I ask how they did it. Their so-called solutions: "Oh now I bite the inside of my cheek" or "Now I eat the outside of my fingers" or worse, "Oh now I smoke." So I'm guessing this is an oral fixation. I need to satisfy my oral fixation with something other than my nails, without having to gnaw on the inside of my cheek or lips, eat the skin off my fingers or smoke. Chewing gum does not help. Okay, right now, I'm just going to stop. This article on kicking bad habits and another one on nail-biting might help.

Better late than never.

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