Don't try this at home

Some would say spontaneity is a positive quality. A spontaneous gal will go on a last-minute weekend trip to a nearby lake or impulsively walk up to a group of people at a party and say "hi" without worrying over what to say and just wing it. I am occasionally spontaneous, and in most instances, a fun time ensues.

I've recently discovered however that there is a downside to having occasional bouts of spontaneity. Spontaneity necessarily involves lack of premeditation. And so sometimes, this "positive quality" will induce the holder of it to do something stupid, like, for example, throw all The Rules out the window and on a spur of the moment click on the "compose" button in her email program to write a stupid email to Non Email Guy under the pretense of some professional objective.

Yeah.

As soon as I sent it, I internally screamed. All those suggestions from some of my friends sprung to mind: "Men like the chase," and "Don't you want a guy who has the balls to pursue you?" blah blah blah. But then I thought of the other adages: "If a guy likes a girl, it doesn't really matter who does what," and even more compelling, "Fuck 'The Rules.' "

So what happened? Well he replied. I thought and hoped, "Oh, if I get the conversational ball rolling, he'll see I'm totally interested and suggest hanging out or something." And so we emailed back and forth several more times, where I segued the conversation from professional pretense to more friendlier topics. And then...the emails just ended. No dates lined up. No follow up questions. Just silence.

When I reported this to the Naysayer, he first yelled at me for not giving Non Emailer more signals (I apparently was not "suggestive" or flirty enough), and then wavered in his explanation as to why Non Emailer didn't ask me out: Either (1) he doesn't like me, or (2) he's a wuss. "So even if he does like you," the Naysayer reasoned, "do you want to date a guy who's such a wuss?"

Guess not. Though of course that ball was never in my court.

While I admit, this may not be the End of the Saga of the Non Emailer, I can't help but feel deflated. Ah well. I may be good at tempting fate. Just not men.