Mollify me

I am in a pissy mood. It's one of those lame pathetic moods I get in every once a while. A combination of bitter, insecure, jealous, angry, annoyed, annoyed that I'm annoyed, and general angst. I am trying to think of a list of things to do (another list!) to elevate my mood aside from doing drugs and kicking puppies. Some things that are often suggested:

Writing your feelings in a journal
This NEVER works. It only reiterates, in plain print, why life as a whole sucks and why I suck. Instead of X, Y, and Z swirling in my brain, they are written in neat print. How does seeing the printed version of your inadequacies mitigate their existence?

Eating [insert bad food]
Isn't this how people become compulsive overeaters, manic depressed, and diabetic? Instead of being just a pissed person, you're a fat pissed person with clogged arteries.

Sex
Not an option for me since I don't have a boyfriend and the prospect of going to a random bar to have a one-night stand with an inadequate manchild who will not likely please me is not very tempting.

Alcohol
I like Jack Daniels. But isn't the only thing scarier than a drunk an angry drunk?

Walk around, insult people, and feel superior to everyone
This must be effective because it's so popular. It may work for others, but I can't help but wonder if when they go home every night, they curl into a fetal ball and cry themselves to sleep, squealing "why? WHY?"

Watch a funny movie
This might work.

Listen to happy music
Another possibility.

Listening to and singing along with a song you know you kick ass at singing and that invariably garners standing ovations at local karaoke clubs
This is perhaps the most viable solution.

Anything else? Admittedly, these "solutions" don't really solve anything.

But neither does a pissy mood.