Em was still in love with her ex-boyfriend, Matt. Of course, he didn't know and he couldn't know. First, he was happily married. Second, she was "happily" married. Her husband was a wonderful man, and her son was the joy of her life.
Still the fact remained, she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend. It wasn't a lustful love. It was just something that would always be there and never disappear. They would have lunch from time to time, and it was obvious he was deeply madly in love with his wife, his "soulmate" as he put it. Can a man be a woman's soulmate if the man already has another woman as his soulmate? Em wondered.
Matt was the only one who called her "Emily." Everyone else called her "Em." Which was fine. But it wasn't "Emily." And there was a way Matt pronounced "Emily," the "m" sound rolling softly into the "l." He was the only one who said her real name. He was the only one who said it right.
Em sat in her office and looked at the clock. It would be twenty more minutes until her next patient came in. Instead of using the time to read up on her med journals or clean up her email, she just sat there and stared outside her window. Somewhere in a different hospital at that precise moment, Matt and his wife (his soulmate) were in a room with an OB GYN and a flurry of nurses and blue sheets and silver pans and metallic devices. Somewhere Matt's wife was lying on a bed, her hand in Matt's, in painful anticipation. Somewhere some other woman was having Matt's child.
She remembered Matt telling her all about the unexpected pregnancy, how they intended to wait another few years, but how this was a blessing. For some reason, despite her family, his marriage, and his happiness, Em could feel her heart sink the moment he told her the news. It made no sense. And then a morbid curiosity overcame her. She had to hear all about the pregnancy, what they were going to name the child, whether they were going to move into a bigger house, when was she due, when was the baby shower, et cetera. He happily apprised her of each and every detail, relishing each advancement of the pregnancy, for example when they saw the first sonogram or when they felt the child's first kick. Em envisioned it all, Matt's hand resting on his wife's womb, Matt reading Dr. Seuss to his unborn child, Matt looking at his wife with the love he never had for Em.
Em stood up and peered between the blinds. She rubbed the warm ring on her finger and sighed. Right now, a new life was entering the world. She pictured a child as beautiful as Matt and his wife. The nurse would hand the child to Matt, and Matt would be holding a tiny human being in his arms, reverent and adoring. They were a family now. Perfect and loving. And she was happy for them. Really, she was.
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1 comment:
I found your site through another blogger and I like it. I'm not sure if this post is at all personal or not, but I can relate to the longing for a soulmate, or at least for its being a possibility. It wouldn't be fate that draws two souls together; it wouldn't be about another soul belonging with you or to you; it wouldn't even necessarily be a permanent state. I think soulmates are kindred spirits, people who seemingly know and understand each other without much effort, and who seem to get along together as if from the beginning of time they've had countless adventures, even if they've only just met.
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