Ugly guys

Yellow Gal has nothing against ugly guys. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is only skin deep, it's what's inside that counts, et cetera.

What Yellow Gal finds utterly fascinating is when ugly guys complain about ugly girls. Yellow Gal recalls a day back when she was in school. She is chatting with three guys. Instead of referring to these guys as Ugly Guy #1, Ugly Guy #2, and Normal Guy, Yellow Gal will call them Fatty, Crater Face, and Norm.

Norm is telling the group how he was walking with a cup of coffee in his hands, and he saw a girl so beautiful, he tripped and spilled coffee all over himself. All are amused.

Then Crater Face replies, "Well it certainly wasn't someone in this school because there are no beautiful girls in this school."

Yellow Gal blinks.

Then Fatty chimes in, "Yeah man, there are no hot girls in this school whatsoever."

Then Fatty turns to Yellow Gal, holds up his hand, and, rather than saying "present company excluded," says, "No offense."

Yellow Gal blinks again.

For the next ten minutes, Crater Face and Fatty bemoan the utter dearth of beauty in school, insterspersed with "yeah, man" and "yeah." Yellow Gal looks at Fatty's ample love handles and three chins. She then looks at Crater Face. She stops counting his craters at 283.

Yellow Gal is not prone to conceit or self-flattery. But she knows she is cute, and undoubtedly ten times more attractive than Crater Face and Fatty (if not by virtue of having no craters and no more than one chin). It made her wonder. This is not the first time that utterly repulsive, grotesque abominations of nature have criticized women's appearances. Yellow Gal surmised that this must be the eighth wonder of the world.

She further pondered the logic of Fatty and Crater Face. Suppose that the school were filled with beautiful women resembling Catherine Zeta Jones and Heidi Klum. Do Crater Face and Fatty honestly believe that these women would actually like them, if not for their stunning craters and chins, then for their oh-so charming personalities?

Then she realized, hideously deformed men are people too. Why should they be denied the joys of being superficial and hypocritical?