First Kiss

Yellow Gal remembers her first "real" kiss. It was quite memorable but for all the wrong reasons.

She was at the mall with two girlfriends and him. Girlfriend #1's mom drove up to the curb to pick up the three girls. Before parting, Yellow Gal thought it would be nice to peck him good bye. Not quite a millisecond peck, but perhaps a lingering, tender kiss, like Wesley and Buttercup. After all, they were in public and #1's mom awaited them in a running sedan.

She leaned forward, closed her eyes, and soon felt his warm lips against hers. Suddenly his probing tongue poked through her pursed lips and made itself very comfortable inside her mouth, introducing itself to her molars, the roof of her mouth, and the back of her throat.

It was the longest eight seconds of her life.

When he finally pulled away, she awkwardly smiled a goodbye and hopped into the car. It was their first and last kiss. She broke up with him less than a week later.

The reason Yellow Gal is reliving this arguably traumatizing incident is that she bumped into her First Kiss the other day.

She was walking with her old high school friend in their hometown, when they saw him from a distance. As they neared him, he snapped shut his cell phone and said "hi." He then cheerfully chatted with her friend whilst ignoring Yellow Gal. Yellow Gal suspected that First Kiss was testing to see how long he could chat with Yellow Gal's friend without having to acknowledge Yellow Gal. Finally, Friend couldn't take it anymore and said, "First Kiss, you remember..." and pointed to Yellow Gal, who stood there, smiling expectantly. First Kiss replied, "Yes. Yellow Gal." Then he turned back to Friend and commenced cheerful chatting.

After they parted ways, Friend and Yellow Gal compared notes. Friend guessed the reason for his odd behavior was his "new" physique. His six-pack seemed to have been replaced by a one-gallon. His chiseled cheekbones were now soft and doughy. But everyone gained weight after high school. Moreover, they had dated for a measly week over a decade ago and shared no more than one kiss.

Very strange behavior. Yet altogether, amusing. Does anyone ever forget their first kiss?