I'm going to do before I turn 30 this December:
1) Sky dive
2) Vegas, baby
I've never done either. My head will probably explode during both events from sensation-overload. My goal is to survive unscathed. Or at least survive.
Musings of an Asian American Girl
7 comments:
I've been reading your stuff for a long time. I think the first post I read was a story of you returning from a run and hearing your neighbors in the throes of passion. I think you intended it to be a bit amusing and it was. You said you tried to find a place in your apartment where you couldn't hear them as well. You also lamented the fact that it had been a while since you were similiarly situated. I've been an avid reader of yours ever since then.
I find it ironic that you freely admit your obsession with relationships with the opposite sex. I think I also recall the term "neurotic" used from time to time. Yet you persist in your quest for "the one." You're an intelligent person but still you continue to enslave your mind to what is so obviously unhealthy.
I wonder what would happen if you actually met the illusory being that you seek. Oh wait! I know. You would rehearse, relive, reconstruct, and rehash every single encounter you had with him. You would second, triple, and quadruple guess every syllable the two of you would ever utter. You would consult the naysayer to interpret the signs of words and gestures. In the end you will discover that you were looking for an illusion, a mirage, a lie, someone who does not exist. Eventually you will submit to time and circumstance and settle for the best you could find. You will be always haunted by the fact that you didn't find him. You will also realize that if he did exist and you did find him that he may not have wanted you. You have assigned to a man the enormous task of meeting the needs of your heart. Is there really someone so equipped?
Has it ever crossed your mind that you, Yellow Gal, are "the one?" What would the life of your heart and mind be like if the burden of discovery was not on you at all? What if it was up to him to find you and not the other way around? Could you live in that place? Perhaps it requires too much imagination or courage. Not many people have the courage to put aside their personal agenda. Do you trust him to find you? Was he worth having anyway if he didn't? Maybe it is better to wait for (not look for) someone whose needs you would happily try to fulfill and therein find exactly what your heart has always sought.
I've done both before I'm 30. Actually before I was 25. I live on the west coast so I've been to Vegas many times. Definitely worth at least one good visit with close friends. As for skydiving, AMAZING! You'll never feel anything like it. I'm terrified of heights but I recommend it at least once to everyone too. Have fun doing both by Dec. I'm sure you'll be able to do it.
Caleb,
I appreciate your bluntless in pointing out my clear pattern: overanalyzing details and imposing overly idealistic expectations on the guy that I'm dating at the time. Believe me, you're not the only one frustrated with my futility. My boss and one of my best friends (in addition to the Naysayer) have continually warned me against my pattern.
Let's say that I am "the one," as you posit. And that it was up to the guy to find me. I get that part, but it doesn't stop the thoughts, insecurities and idealistic hopes from invading my mind the moment he "finds" me. Even tho I am aware a lot of it is unproductive.
Also, the guys that so far have "found" me all seem to fall short of even normal expectations (as opposed to my over idealistic standards). It's just difficult to be dating for several years and be disappointed again. And again. And yes, I know, the guys I've dated are probably thinking the same thing.
And when you say let him find me, do you mean literally? I'm guessing you mean mindset vs. physically putting oneself out there. Because virtually all of the guys I've dated initiated contact with me.
It's funny. Even people who did find and marry their Ones admit to me they haven't a clue about dating. It just happened and it worked. There was no science to it.
Whatchamacalit, thanks for the added recommendation. Everyone I know has spoken highly of sky diving and Vegas, so I'm pretty stoked. Any clubs you recommend?
Sky diving and trekking to Vegas? Yikes! You're brave on both accounts.
A gal's only got one life to live!
Vegas is FUN! Make sure your bring your hoochie outfits. Haha
yellow lawyer
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