Good morning

There are many things a person can do at 4:20 in the morning. A person can go for an early morning jog. Perhaps watch an infomercial on TV. Or surf the web. Maybe eat some chocolate chip ice cream whilst reading a book.

This morning at 4:20, one person, whom I shall now refer to as Annoying Dumbass, went outside into the alley outside my apartment building, took with him a baseball bat and large empty plastic water cooler, and began beating the empty water cooler with the bat as loudly as he could.

Okay, I don't know for a fact if Annoying Dumbass was actually beating a water cooler with a baseball bat, but that's what it sounded like at 4:20 am when it woke me up. As I threw my pillow over my head, wishing myself to sleep, I involuntarily began fantasizing about owning a BB gun and transforming into a military level sniper that could shoot the bat out of Annoying Dumbass's hand and reduce the empty water cooler into tiny bits. And with each subsequent ear-splitting, mind-numbing thud, my fantasy evolved. The BB gun turned into a handgun. The a handgun became a rifle. The rifle morphed into a bazooka.

Just as the bazooka was about to transform into a missile, a neighboring woman screeched, "HEY CUT THAT OUT!"

The beating of the empty water cooler ceased and a young male voice sheepishly called out, "Sorry." Annoying Dumbass sounded like he was 20 years old.

Now seriously. When you're a 20-year-old dude and it's 4:20 am, shouldn't you be playing Wii or Sony Playstation or getting stoned or trashed or banging some chick(s)? Why on earth would you be beating a water cooler with a bat?

It makes no sense. I suppose this is just another question I can throw into my ever growing repository of Unanswerable Questions About Males.