An exercise in decorum

Another inevitability of ending a non-relationship is that all the people you gushed to about it will inevitably ask you about it. Then you have to come up with a nice, diplomatic spiel.

Last night, I had dinner and drinks with a casual friend. I wouldn't say she's a good friend, but a newer friend with whom I have had dinner and drinks a handful of times. She inevitably asked, "So how's it going with Your Man, GD?"

My Man? How about my Non-Man. I sighed and said, "It's not."

"What?! What happened?!" she asked, her eyes widening.

Now, to discuss someone behind their back (or, to put it more diplomatically, talk about someone when that person is not present) is a delicate matter. It's best to assume that every word you say will probably get back to the person. Last night, I hadn't properly rehearsed my recap of the non-end of the non-relationship with my non-man. So I think I blabbered a bit more with the casual friend more than I should have. I said it bothered me how it ended but overall I'm okay about it. She kept prodding more and more, "So you're really okay? How do you feel? You're okay?" And after a couple drinks and continual prodding, I relented and told her I thought it was kind of lame of GD to purport to be an upfront person and then engage in the opposite behavior. She responded, "Oh. You're very sensitive."

Not really sure how one responds to that. I deduced from her complete lack of sympathy that she disagreed with my assessment. Also, is it ironic if you're sensitive to the fact that someone called you sensitive?

Anyhow, I know she has a friend who's friends with a friend of GD. That's the great thing about living in a large city. You are lulled into this illusion that everyone is disconnected because the city is so big. But they're not.

I mitigated my blabbering by repeating to her, "GD is a good guy. I genuinely believe that." And I'm hoping she was too drunk to remember anything I said. Which wasn't even that bad to begin with. I just like to minimize damage, minimize potential damage, and minimize potential potential damage.

So tomorrow night, my guy friend is throwing a little soirée. I will for sure bump into people who are acquainted with GD. So this is how I'm thinking I should handle the inevitable question: "So how's it going with GD?":

Me: "Oh, we're not dating anymore."

Inevitable response: "Ohhh, why not?"

"Oh, we just decided to go our separate ways."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. We just went our separate ways. It's cool."

"Are you okay??"

"Yep. [smile and nod] Totally."

Then in my fantasy, they'll leave it at that and we'll talk about the finale of "Grey's Anatomy" or some other random chit chat.

I have a feeling though that it will not be so cut and dry and that psychological prodding will occur. I will just have to remind myself to be nice and diplomatic. Assume everything I say will get back to him. And most of all, look happy.