Monday, June 04, 2012

If estranged friends could really talk openly

"I've noticed that we haven't been as close as we used to be."

"Yep."

"Why is that?"

"I don't think we have as much in common anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You like to be negative and complain about your life all the time. And I no longer want to be negative nor do I want to hear you complain about your life all the time. Does that make sense?"

"I think so."

"I just think we're different people. You need to find a friend who likes to indulge your depressive rants, who doesn't mind that you can talk about yourself nonstop for hours at a time without once asking her how she is doing, and who enjoys conversations where any time she mentions herself you feel the need to veer the conversation back to your purportedly awful life. I'm just not that friend, I'm sorry to say."

"Oh I see."

"Awesome. So no hard feelings?"

"No."

"Okay, take care."

"You too."

And at least one of them lived happily ever after.

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