Bob's Theorem

I was having a pleasant dinner with one of my high school friends who happens to be married. She was telling me about a male co-worker--let's call him Bob. She and Bob were pretty cool. Once in a while, they'd have lunch, grab a drink after work, or even have an occasional dinner. All the while, she openly spoke about her husband, wore her wedding ring & band, and gave no indication of anything other than friendship.

When my friend happened to mention Bob to her husband, he responded, "Bob wants you."

"What are you talking about?" she asked her hubby incredulously.

"Bob wants you. It's so obvious."

"He knows I'm married and we never flirt. We are so platonic."

"Look, no guy would ever pay that much attention to you unless he wanted to get with you, wedding ring notwithstanding."

"I don't believe it," my friend continued.

"Any guy who is friends with a girl is only friends with her because in the back of his mind, he is attracted to her and wants her."

She was shocked by this, and refused to believe her husband...That is, until one particular evening with Bob. She and Bob were having after-work drinks and as usual, had a pretty good time. Bob was driving her home when he asked her about her marriage.

"Oh, I love my hubby," she replied.

"Cool," Bob said. "So you're happy with him?"

"Yes, of course," she replied.

"So it's not like, you'd ever hook up with anyone else right?"

"No way, I'm married," she responded.

"Oh okay. Cool," Bob said casually.

That was the last time she and Bob ever hung out. He stopped dropping by her cubicle and never asked her to lunch, drinks, or dinner again. She was now a believer.

So my friend was telling me this entire story over dinner. But I couldn't believe it. "Guys and girls CAN be friends," I urged.

She pressed further, "I'm not saying every guy you're friends with wants to get with you. I'm saying that on some level, they're minimally attracted to you and probably wouldn't mind if you suddently decided to bust a move on them."

"What?! Sick!!" I retorted, thinking of all my platonic brotherly guy friends.

"It's true... I believe it."

"Well if that's the case, then ugly girls would never have guy friends."

"They don't," she stated perfunctorily. "Think about it."

I thought about it. I knew there had to be some homely girl out there who had guy friends. But I didn't even know any ugly girls, let alone ugly girls with guy friends.

I may not have much faith in men, but I'm not so jaded as to believe that a guy would refuse to be friends with a girl simply because she was unattractive.