The booty hump

I went dancing this past weekend. I was amused by how some girls thought that several awkward thrusts of the pelvis rendered them sexy and desirable. They would hump a fellow girlfriend or chair, look around, and smile expectedly, beaming with desperate validation. Add to that several layers of make-up and a glittery barely-there haltertop, and you almost have some semblance of a woman.

Of course, there is a time and place for the booty hump. A carefully calculated booty hump can have the desired effect of, well, looking desirable. Sticking out one's butt continuously is insufficient. A booty hump ought to beckon and allure, but not leave onlookers with the feeling that they are watching an audition for Britney-Spear wannabe rejects. To successfully execute the BH, one must have a way about herself, an air of confidence, self-assured beauty, and of course, the ability to dance.