Monday, January 21, 2008

Impurrfect

It must be nice to be a house cat.

Here's a typical day. You wake up. At 1:30 pm. You yawn, stretch and walk over to the bowl of food your servant has already prepared for you. Then you drink from the bowl of water that has also been prepared for you. Then you go back to sleep.

If you need to pee or take a dump, you do it in a sandbox, and your servant cleans it all up for you.

When you want attention, you walk up to your servant, and she will pet you, cuddle you, lift you and utter nonsensical words to you, usually in a falsetto voice. All you need to do is purr.

If you poop on the rug or vomit on the sofa, it's okay. After all, you're just a cat. No worries, your servant will clean up your mess for you.

Like I said, it's a nice life.

The only trade off is, you're probably neutered or spayed. And that means you're pretty much guaranteed to die a virgin. And for this reason, I'm not too bummed over my station in life as a human.

At least that's what I try to tell myself.

3 comments:

Yellow Lawyer said...

Are you implying that the ability to have pleasure from sex makes up for all the troubles we have to deal with in daily life?

I dunno...the cat seems to have a much better life. Then again, I am having a major case of blue balls, as the woman I fell for just wants to be friends. It's impossible to get out of the "friend" mode, right?

Yellow Gal said...

Oh, if sex were the answer to the world's dearth of happiness, life would be so much easier. But it isn't. I blogged in jest.

And thanks for sharing the state of your balls with me and the rest of the blogger world. No, you can't make yourself or force her to see you outside of the friend zone. It'll either happen or it won't, as frustrating as that is.

I have heard of it happening though. Once to my friend. But far more often, I know of guys who cling onto their friendships with their crushes, hoping against all hope that one day she'll realize what a great catch the guy is and fall for him.

Don't be that guy!

Yellow Lawyer said...

I would have preferred to share a different state of my balls with you and the rest of the blogger world.

I refuse to be that guy!

 
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