Supersize me

My yellow pal and I were at a club. My yellow pal and I were drunk. My yellow pal made me pinky swear that, after she lost 15 pounds, she and I would both get body art done the next time we were in Vegas, and go out clubbing in our body art.

Body art can take many forms. The form my pal was specifically referring to was the kind where you get topless and some dude paints some flowers or something on your top (i.e. your boobs) so you are artfully "covered." But in reality you are topless. Topless with flowers painted on your boobs with some vines and leaves on your shoulders and arms. Example of a chick in a "shirt":


That alone is pretty crazy for me. But there's more.

The next time we are in Vegas is for the Annual National Asian Pacific American Bar Association Convention. In other words, a bunch of Asian American lawyers from all over the country will convene in the City of Sin to take seminars and network with other Asian American lawyers.

My friend (also a lawyer) wants us to go clubbing in Vegas (undoubtedly where some of these lawyers will be), topless with body art on our boobs.

As my buzz wore off, I started thinking. "Uh, you want to go topless in front of other lawyers?" I asked.

"What, it's art!" she responded. I immediately thought of how a "Hustler Magazine" photographer would similarly argue regarding a picture of a naked 21-year-old cheerleader spread eagle. "It'll be fun!" she added, swaying.

"Yeah, but I don't want the general counsel of General Electric or a federal judge to see lilies on my breasts. Don't you think that vision would affect their perception of us as professionals? That instead of taking us seriously as intelligent, serious attorneys, they'd see us as skanks with lilies painted on their nipples?"

"No, why would they?" she asked. "We're out clubbing. Just having fun. It's Vegas."

I really didn't know what else to say. Seeing that I was less than persuaded, she added, "You pinky swore! So now you have to do it!"

Crap, I thought to myself. The only thing I could think of was hope that she was so drunk that she'd forget our pinky swear. Or hope that she'd let me reneg on our pinky swear in light of the don't-want-to-jeopardize-my-legal-career argument. Or hope that she'd believe me when I say I found this diet that emphasized a hamburger-and-fries-based regiment.