A yellow gal walks into a bar

So the question arose, how I did meet the shy and slightly nerdy guy? No, it wasn't at the public library, a bookstore or Internet cafe. It was in perhaps the unlikeliest of places to pick up the shy and nerdy types: a bar.

But first off, he never came up to me. And I never went up to him.

I was in the ladies room, powdering my nose, when I happened to chit chat with a random girl. We totally hit it off. She was here for a birthday party, and as we exited the ladies' room, she brought me to the party area of the bar to introduce me to her friends. One of those friends was the shy guy.

When I first met him, I instantly thought he was cute, and was pleased to discover he could carry an intelligent conversation (rarity in a bar setting) and didn't give off that rico-suave-player vibe (another rarity in a bar setting). He was unassuming and easy-going. We exchanged numbers and actually ended up meeting up later to have one of those talk-til-the-sun-comes-up conversations about religion, science, God and the existence of Donald Trump's toupee.

It was in one of our later conversations that I learned that on that very night in that bar in which I met him, prior to the girl introducing me to her friends, a couple of his guy friends had spotted me across the bar and egged him on to talk to me (both of his guy friends were attached). He of course couldn't, due in part to his shy nature and also because I was chatting with another guy at the time (I was ordering a drink and happened to strike up a conversation with a random guy there).

One of his guy friend's girlfriends happened to be nearby while this occurred. And she happened to visit the ladies' room at the same time I did not too soon thereafter. And she happened to chit chat with me and we happened to hit it off.

Upon learning this latter sequence of events, I looked at my shy guy. "Wait a minute," I said, "so this was all a ruse? A ploy?!"

"No," he laughed. "I don't know what her motivations were for talking to you. I'm not even 100% sure she overheard her boyfriend egging me on. Either way, it worked out."

I laughed. How ingenious. IF it was all a ploy, it was pretty clever of the girl. I myself have approached girls in bars and did the junior-high-school "Hey, my friend thinks you're cute"-thing, to little success. To make the effort to talk with me and befriend me -- that takes it to a whole new level.

Yet neither of us are sure if she did chat with me intentionally. My shy guy indicated that he would never have been able to approach me in the bar anyway, even though he thought I was cute.

"What?" I asked. "Even if you think a girl is cute, you won't approach her?"

"No," he replied. "I'm way too shy."

"So what can a girl do to be more approachable?" I asked.

"There just needs to be something there. If a girl and I were in a same class or ran in the same running group, that'd be something. But in a random bar, there's no connection. No commonality. So I can't just walk up to a girl and chat with her."

"Interesting," I said.

Either way, it worked out. So far. For now. Remember, my goal is to contain my hopes. Poceed with caution. And take things one day at a time.