Little gal

I am a complete woman. I know who I am and know what I want.

Yet every once in a while, I get bouts of neurotic insecurity, the kind that should only plague girls ages 10-17, not women who are educated and experienced in the real world. It is during these bouts of insecurity that I question my intelligence and my appearance--specifically, my weight.

Today I went to see my doctor for a regular check-up. She took my blood pressure and said, "It sounds healthy. Blood pressure can be on the low side for skinny people."

Hold up. Was she saying I was skinny? Skinny?? No, perhaps she was saying my blood pressure was healthy, but added an irrelevant bit of trivia on skinny people.

"So it's healthy?" I said.

"Yes," she said as she put the stethoscope away.

"But it was on the low side?"

"Yes, it's lower than the average person; but that's usually the case with skinny women."

"Oh okay," I said calmly, placing my hands on my lap. Inside, my heart fluttered at the thought that my doctor said I was "skinny," a word I reserved for the likes of Calista Flockhart and Keira Knightley. (Granted, I know I weigh more than 80 pounds, unlike Ms. Flockhart and Ms. Knightley - but still!)

So for this day only, I will savor the inadvertent, utterly superficial validation from my doctor, validation that should only exist for girls ages 10-17. This doesn't mean I'm not going to try to lose 5-10 more pounds before my wedding. But it will do for today.