I feel fat. I know, I know, every girl no matter her weight or waist size will think/say those same words, except maybe Olympic athletes and the starving kids in Africa my mom always talks about.
But yeah. I feel fat. I look down at my thighs and each of them are enormous. Gargantuan. I can literally feel the fat bulging against the inside of my skin. It is a palpable pressure of mass, pressing against my skin, threatening to burst from my body. Sometimes I imagine poking my thigh with a needle, thinking a stream of fat will explode from my thigh.
If only it were that easy.
I feel disgusting and fat. I look in the mirror and see fat. Thighs that curve outward, thighs that touch each other, thighs that humiliate me on a daily basis. Every time I walk in front of someone or stand in an elevator with someone or walk up the stairs, I feel like my thighs and butt and thickness are just huge big signs that say "Fat Girl Walking." I feel like they're looking at me and thinking, "She can't pull off those pants. Chunk."
And there's my belly. Oh, Belly. Muffin Top. Flabby. It is an entity of its own, yet forming an alliance with my thighs to make me feel and look fat.
I run my 3-mile workouts, and it seems futile. I fantasize about taking a scalpel and carving out all the fat, jiggle and wiggle from my body, and leaving nothing but Angela Basset-esque toned athletic slender.
I feel the fat everywhere. On my arms. On my legs. Clinging to my neck, hanging onto my back, pressing against clothes that are threatening to tear at the seams.
ARGH. I feel fat.
3 comments:
You are what you eat. If you feel fat, then work out and lose weight at the gym. No results came to those that live in krispy kremes...now did they? Quit complaining, and do something about it.
Actually there are a few folks who can eat all the Krispy Kremes they want and weigh 80 pounds. Damn those high metabolic rates.
But for the rest of us, I am well aware, Anonymous, that the best way to lose weight is to exercise and eat healthily.
Just every once in a while, I feel obese and want to vent about it. Hence, my blog.
Does it really matter anymore? You're in an LTR, right? So, as long as you are still getting some, that's good, right?
Plus, my guess is you exagerated quite a bit. I have no idea what you look like but somehow I doubt your thighs are gargantuan.
Yellow Lawyer
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