I've got three words

And it's an alliteration: Bitter Blue Balls.

Read below post I found on craigslist.

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"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST


I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

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Seriously? Okay, it's definitely sad when you like someone and someone doesn't like you back. Hello -- story of my life. It's a painful lesson we begin learning at age 12 and have repeatedly reinforced until the day we get hitched or die, which ever comes sooner. But seriously, this dude needs to get over it. His rant is dripping with bitterness and resentment, and instead of empowering him, his "I told you so"-rant makes him sound even more pathetic and insecure.

And seriously, a girl can't be friends with a guy and have emotional intimacy with him unless she "reciprocat[es], in kind, with physical intimacy"? What the f kind of bullshit is that? That basically translates to "You can't be friends with me unless you put out."

And, um, I find it hard to believe that a girl who had zero romantic interest in the guy but liked to shop and watch movies with him actually "laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion." Quite frankly, a girl wouldn't care to deign that much effort into "laughing" and "resenting" a guy she has zero interest in. But hey, if that's what this dude needs to tell himself to fuel his rage and get through day, then to each his own.

All I'm saying is, the dude needs to get a grip. At least on something other than what he evidently grips every Friday and Saturday night alone in his studio apartment.

. . .

P.S. - I like nice guys. I'm dating one. As people can read in my past posts, I've been dicked over by a number of lame-ass, socially retarded assholes. So I'm glad to be in a relationship with a guy who calls me regularly, opens the door for me, buys me roses, etc.

This post is not an indictment of nice guys. It is an indictment of guys with bitter blue balls.