I am a girl who used to be called ugly. It should therefore be of no surprise that I am always a little flattered and perhaps (pathetically) a bit grateful whenever a guy shows any interest in me. Yes, some guys have low standards (Pulse? Check. Two legs? Check.) Still, I cannot help but feel bad when a guy likes me, I go on a few dates with him, we may kiss once or twice, and I realize that it's just not going to happen. A tiny part of me, the ugly 13-year-old girl inside of me, says I should be thankful that any guy could ever like me--who the hell am I to think I'm too good for certain guys?
But I know, I know, that being upfront and honest is the way to go. Then one must utter some variation of the wretched words, "I think we should just be friends." And I know I'm not the only woman who feels this way. It's funny. Women can endure 10 hours of excruciating pain wearing that perfect pair of shoes and push watermelons out of our vaginas; but sometimes telling a guy "I'm not interested in you" can be the hardest thing.
Of course, I acknowledge my hypocrisy, especially given my numerous rants on the Island of Lost Men. I bitch about guys who disappear on us, yet I myself face the same anxiety when having to confront a guy to tell him I don't like him in that way. I will say, in my defense, that I have never dated a guy for X months and then "broke up" by simply disappearing on him.
Some girls have supported the view that after 1 or 2 dates, a gal need not call the guy back at all if she isn't interested. After a few more dates however, the Talk is necessary.
The reason I'm blabbering about this is because I have to have the Talk with a guy tonight. I've been on a few dates with a genuinely nice guy, but it's just not working. I'm actually rehearsing the Talk in my head. For all I know, he might respond, "Don't flatter yourself. I was thinking the same thing." Whatever the case may be, it's better in the long-run to clarify feelings point blank than let things linger and string the guy along.
Yet, as always, easier blogged than done.
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3 comments:
how did it go?
I completely understand that ugly 13-year old inside of you ...
But it's good that you're more sure of yourself now.
oh yes.. the talk... I do not envy that... I have to say... I was a jerk when I was young and actually, yes actually, acknowledge to the gal that she was upset because she never thought she would get a guy like... I wish I had never been such a jerk... oh a jerk.. obviously I know it... still think about it (being a jerk) and wish, oh I wish, there was a way to let her know i was a jerk, and I am NOT that person... at any rate I don't envy your talk...
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